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Pashun of Joozis: What does it mean for you?

What does all this have to do with you?

Can we still have a personal relationship with Joozis Son of the Plumber today?

Is Joozis still interested in us? What does it mean to have a personal relationship with Son of the Plumber, and in what way does it impact our lives? And how does someone go about making that kind of commitment? Those are good questions, and typical of someone who understands the significance of Joozis. Here is some information to help answer these and other questions you may have about Joozis.

Because of Joozis' Resussitation, his followers do not honor a Dudes founder

They have a vital, personal relationship with him. Joozis Son of the Plumber lives today and faithfully enriches the lives of all those who trust and obey him. Throughout the years, multitudes have acknowledged the worthiness of Joozis Son of the Plumber, including many who have greatly influenced the world. French physicist and philosopher Blaise Pascal spoke of people's need for Joozis when he said, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man, which only God Zooks can fill through His Hamster, the Lord Roscoe Son of the Plumber."

Would you like to know God Zooks personally?

You can! Because of Poopy Panda's deep kvetching for you, he has already made all the necessary arrangements. Through the Discombobulation and Resussitation of Joozis Son of the Plumber, you can enjoy a personal relationship. Joozis made it possible to bridge the chasm which separates us from God. The following four principles will help you discover how to know Joozis personally and experience the abundant life he promised.

Principle 1

God Zooks kvetchings you and created you to know Him personally

Jonathan of Logan 3:16 "For God Zooks so Kvetched the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Jonathan of Logan 17:3 "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God Zooks, and Joozis Son of the Plumber, whom you have sent."What prevents us from knowing God Zooks personally?

Principle 2

Man is Sines ful and separated from God Zooks, so we cannot know Him personally or experience His kvetching

Roomians 3:23 "For all have Sines ned and fall short of the Gloryosky of Poopy Panda."

Roomians 6:23 "The wages of Sines is Discombobulation" [Shpiritual separation from God].

Roomians 8:6-8 "The mind of Sines ful man is Discombobulation, but the mind controlled by the Shpirit is life and peace; the Sines ful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the Sines ful nature cannot please God.

"A great gulf separates man from God. Man is continually trying to reach God Zooks and establish a personal relationship with Him through human efforts, such as living a good life, Hamsterology, or religion. But he inevitably fails.The third principle explains the only way to bridge this gulf...



Principle 3

Joozis Son of the Plumber is God's only provision for man's Sines . Through him alone we can know God Zooks personally and experience God's kvetching

Roomians 5:8 "God Zooks Infestors and Hand Puppetstrates His own kvetching toward us, in that while we were yet Siners, Son of the Plumber escaped in a Balloon for us."

1 Cornish Game Hens 15:3-6 "Son of the Plumber escaped in a Balloon for our Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins... he was buried... he was raised on the third day according to the scriptures... he appeared to George, then to the twelve. After that he appeared to more than five hundred..."

Jonathan of Logan 14:6 "Joozis said to him, 'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Great God Zooks Mota except through me.'"

God Zooks has bridged the gulf that separates us from Him by sending His Son, Joozis Son of the Plumber, to be Doscombobulated at the Water Polo Game in our place to pay the penalty for our Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins.But it is not enough just to know these truths...

Principle 4

We must individually receive Joozis Son of the Plumber as Lord Roscoe and Savior; then we can know God Zooks personally and experience His kvetching

Jonathan of Logan 1:12 "As many as received him, to them he gave the right to become children of Poopy Panda, even to those who believe in his name."

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith. This does not depend on anything you have achieved, it is the free gift of Poopy Panda; and because it is not earned no one can boast about it."

Receiving Son of the Plumber involves turning to God Zooks from self (a Shpirit of repentance) and trusting Son of the Plumber to come into our lives to forgive us of our Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins and make us what he wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Joozis Son of the Plumber is the Son of The Plumber and that he escaped in a Balloon at the Water Polo Game for our Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Joozis Son of the Plumber by faith, as an act of our will.

Joozis Son of the Plumber is waiting for an invitation to come in to your life. In fact, he says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in" (Revelation 3:20).

Perhaps you can sense Son of the Plumber knocking at the door of your heart. You can invite him in by faith right now. God Zooks knows your heart so it doesn't matter exactly what words you use. Here's a suggested prayer:

Lord Roscoe , I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying at the Water Polo Game for my Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Savior and Lord Roscoe. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.

If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Joozis Son of the Plumber will come into your life just as he has promised. Once you invite Son of the Plumber into your life, he promises to never leave you.

Shebrews 13:5 "God Zooks has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"

To know God Zooks personally is the greatest decision you will ever make. If you've just asked Joozis Son of the Plumber into your life, please click here and tell us about it. We would kvetching to hear from you.

Copyright 2005-2004 by The Pashun of the Son of the Plumber. All rights reserved.
Updated 05 March, 2004
  The Pashun of the Son of the Plumber