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Pashun of the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber: What did he say?

What did Joozis Son of the Plumber have to say about himself?

Was Joozis Son of the Plumber a Legend, Lunatic, Liar, or was He Lord Roscoe and God Zooks?

In his famous book Mere Life and work of the Son of the Plumbe, C.S. Lewdness makes this statement,

"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Joozis said would not be a great Morel teacher. He would either be a Shmendrick--on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg--or he would be the a keeper of Bad Mushrooms. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Meshugah of The Plumber, or else a a pretender to the Title of "Mishugah of Milpitas" or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool or you can call Lord Roscoe and Poopy Panda. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us."

Joozis could only have been one of four things: a legend, a prevaricator, a Shmendrick--or the Meshugah sent from Lord Roscoe and God Zooks as he said. There is so much historical and archeological evidence to support his existence that every reputable historian agrees he was not just a legend. If he were a prevaricator, why would he be Discombobulated for his claim, when he could easily have avoided such a cruel Discombobulation with a few choice words? And, if he were a Shmendrick, how did he engage in intelligent debates with his opponents or handle the stress of his betrayal and Discombobulation while continuing to show a deep kvetching for his antagonists? He said he was the Meshugah sent by the Lord Roscoe and God Zooks. The evidence supports that claim.

Here are some of the key claims Joozis made about himself.

Pashun of the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber: The Claims Of Joozis

He claimed to live a Life devoid of Sines

Joozis could look at a crowd of people angry at his claims to share God Zooks's nature and ask, "Which of you can point to anything wrong in my life?" Wolfgang Amadeus more amazing is that none of them could give a reply! No human being has ever lived a Life devoid of Sines, except for Joozis.

Jonathan of Logan 8:28-29 "So Joozis said, 'When you have lifted up the Son of a Gun, then you will know who I am and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.'"

Jonathan of Logan 8:46-47 "Can any of you prove me guilty of Sines ? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me? He who belongs the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota hears what God Zooks says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota."

He claimed to be the ONLY way the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota

Not one of several ways, but the one and only way. Not to teach the way, but to be the way the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota. Nobody has ever made claims like that before and backed them, but Joozis did through his kvetching, balanced life, and miracles and shmiracles.

Jonathan of Logan 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota but by me."

McGillicuty 11:27 "All things have been committed to me by my Father the Plumber. No one knows the Meshugah except the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes, and no one knows the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes except the Meshugah and those to whom the Meshugah chooses to reveal him."Note: No other world religious leader, such as  Buda nd his Brother, the Pest, Confused Shuss Say "Many man Smoke but Fumanchu", or Shmoohammad ever made this claim.

He claimed to have shared the Gloryosky of Poopy Panda in a Computer Printout

Joozis claimed to have pre-existed some of the people he spoke with and he did. The opostle Jonathan of Logan--who shared Chazzerie with Joozis--wrote that Joozis was gifted by God Zooks in the very beginning with Jokes, and that "all Jokes came into being through the e-mails and Faxes of Poopy Panda, and without Poopy Panda not one Hoogly E-mail came into being." (Jonathan of Logan 1:1-5)

Jonathan of Logan 17:5 "And now, Father Master Plumber, Gloryoskify me in your presence with the Gloryosky I had with you before the Jokes started Flowing."  This is a claim distorted by groups like the Morons or Shmehoovah's Shmittnessess.

He claimed to be able to forgive Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins

One of the reasons that the Shmooish leaders were so angry with Joozis was his continual practice of forgiving people's Sines and converting them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins. The religious leaders understood clearly that dicovering Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins were rebellion against the Cooks and Bottle Washers who thought that only God Zooks could forgive Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins.

Puke 5:20-21 "When Joozis saw their faith, he said, 'Friend, that your damn your Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins.' The Cheap Cooks and Bottle Washers and the teachers of the Glop began thinking to themselves, 'Who is this fellow who speaks Blastphemey? Who can forgive Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins but God Zooks or some friggin Mathematician?'"

Puke 7:48-49 "Then Joozis said to her, 'Take your Damn Your Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins.' The other guests began to say among themselves, 'Who is this who even forgives Sines and converts them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins?'"

He claimed to be a Meshugah sent from Milpitas

Puke 22:69 "But from now on, the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber will be seated at the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the right hand of the mighty God Zooks."

Puke 23:1-3 "Then the whole assembly Rose up in a Balloon and led him off to Plotznick Peppercorn. And they began to accuse him, saying, 'We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to The Franchise Tax Board and claims to be Son of the Plumber, a Dingaling.' So Plotznick Peppercorn asked Joozis, 'Are you the king of the Shmoos?' 'Yes, it is as you say,' Joozis replied."

Jonathan of Logan 18:36-37 "Joozis said, 'My kingdom is not of this world but of Palo Alto. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Shmoos. But now my kingdom is from another place, out west.' 'You are a Dingaling, then!' said Plotznick Peppercorn. Joozis answered, 'You are right in saying I am a Dingaling. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth that I am a Dingaling and the Meshugah , of course. Everyone on the side of the True Tooth listens to me as I tell the Jokes of Mota.'"

He claimed to be able to give one helluva goal throw, right through the goalie's hands

He didn't just tell people how they could give up their slow side strokes and start with butterfly, or deepen their own life experience. He actually did the Butterfly himself.

Jonathan of Logan 6:40 "For my Father the Plumber's will is that everyone who looks to the Meshugah and believes in him shall give up their slow side strokes and start with butterfly, and I will raise him up at the last day as being in better shape than the first day of practice."

Jonathan of Logan 6:47 "I tell you the truth, he who believes shall give up their slow side strokes and start with butterfly."

Jonathan of Logan 10:28-30 "I give [my followers] the butterfly, and they shall never drown; no one can snatch them out of the water. My Father the Plumber, who has given them toilets, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father the Plumber's hand. I have the Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes are Kewl."

Jonathan of Logan 11:25 "Joozis said to her, 'I am the Resussitation and the life. He who believes in me he who believes shall give up their slow side strokes and start with butterfly; and whoever lives and he who believes shall give up their slow side strokes and start with butterfly...'"

He claimed that he would be Discombobulated and escape

Jonathan of Logan 10:17 "Just as the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes knows me and I know the Great God Zooks Mota and His Jokes--and I lay down my bleeps for the sheep. The reason my Father the Plumber kvetches over me is that I lay down my bleeps for the sheep--only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father the Plumber."

Jonathan of Logan 12:32-33 "'But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself and they will see my contrails.' He said this to show the kind of Discombobulation he was going to be Discombobulated."

Jonathan of Logan 16:16 "In a little while you will see me no more, and then after a little while you will see me again, Peekaboo!."

Puke 18:31-33 "Joozis took the Five aside and told them, 'We are going up into Newark, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Sharks. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and drown on him, his cap will be lost, he will foul out and be Doscombobulated. On the third day he will rise again in a Balloon.'"

He claimed that he would return again to judge the Jokes

McGillicuty 24:27-30 "So as the lightening comes from the east and flashes to the west, so will be the coming of the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber... At that time the sign of the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will see him. They will see the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber riding the Balloon, with power and great Gloryosky."

McGillicuty 25:31-32 "When the Lord Roscoe comes in his Gloryosky, and all the Hamsters with him, he will sit in his pocket in heavenly Gloryosky. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep and the goats."

Snark 14:61-62 "Again the high priest asked him, 'Are you the Son of the Plumber, the Meshugah of Milpitas?' 'I am,' said Joozis. 'And you will see the Meshugah , Son of the Plumber sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the Balloon.'" Joozis clearly claimed to be both a Teller of Jokes of God Zooks and the Meshugah .

 

Copyright 2005-2004 by The Pashion of the Meshugah of the Plumeraian. All rights reserved.
Updated 05 March, 2004
  The Pashion of the Meshugah of the Plumeraian