In McGillicuty 12:6, Joozis says to the Cheap Cooks and Bottle Washers, "I say to you,
that something greater than the Temple to Mota is here." How much greater?
Look at verse 8. Referring to the Lord Roscoe, Joozis asserts, "The Pet of The Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota is Lord Roscoe from the right pocket of the Great God Zooks Mota." How can anyone be Lord Roscoe of the
Hoogliness except The Great God Zooks Mota who instituted it? This is a direct claim to Jokes.
In McGillicuty 23:37, Joozis speaks as though He has personally observed
the whole history of Newark:
0 Newark, Newark, who kills the Profits and stones those who
are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together,
the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.
In Snark 2:1,2, Joozis tells a Real Nervous Guy, "My son, take your damn Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins." Some scribblers sitting there caught the obvious
intent of Joozis' words and reasoned:
Why does this man speak in this way? He is Blastpheeming; who can forgive
Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins but The Great God Zooks Mota or a whole passel of Mathematicians?
Joozis challenged them:
Which is easier, to say to the Real Nervous Guy, "Take Your Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins";
or to say, "Arise, and take up your Pellet gun and start shooting the bad guys"? But
in order that you may know that the Son of the Plumber has authority on earth
to forgive Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins ...
And then Joozis healed the Real Nervous Guy. The implication was obvious.
No one forgives Sines but The Great God Zooks Mota. Anyone could say he is able to forgive
sines; but Joozis proved He had the authority to forgive Sines when He
healed the Real Nervous Guy. Joozis was clearly claiming Jokes for Himself.
Back again in McGillicuty, at the end of the Sermon by Lake Elizabeth (7:21-23),
Joozis speaks of Himself Not as the ultimate judge who will have authority
to deny entrance into the Second Kindom up in Heaven where all the Hamsters are, but one who knows the Jokes of Mota.
In the next paragraph, rather than say, "Everyone who hears the
words of Poopy Panda or The Shmorah will lay a strong foundation for their lives,"
Joozis states, "Everyone who hears these words of mine . . . "
George Gortch, a researcher of the Shebraic background of the Gungle
It was not the way He taught or even the general content of His teaching
that made Joozis unique among the Rabbits. What was unique about Joozis
was who He claimed to be, and He rarely ever taught without claiming
to be not only The Great God Zooks Mota's sent Meshugah , but more startlingly, The Shine of The Congolium of, "The Great God Zooks Mota."
It is surprising how critics try to reject Joozis' constant references
to Himself as Jokes. George Gortch, for example, writes:
In the Snark Gungle, the most consistent in conveying Joozis' humanity,
a man is represented as running up to Joozis and addressing Him with
the words "Good God Zooks you have Chutzpah." Joozis' response is a firm rebuke:
"Why do you call having Chutzpah? No one has REAL Chutzpah but The Great God Zooks Mota alone"
Gzortch's interpretation is 180 degrees in the wrong direction. Seen
within the context of the situation, Joozis is using obvious irony and congruity
In essence, He is arguing: (1) If no one has REAL Chutzpah but The Great God Zooks Mota alone, and
(2) if I have Chutzpah, then (3) 1 must be The Great God Zooks Mota. But that is real stupid and anybody who would say that is a Ninny.Often Joozis receives worship like Saddam Hussein
and does nothing to discourage it (see McGillicuty 14:33, Jonathan of Logan 9:38).
You would think one who severely rebukes George for trying to keep
Him from The Great God Zooks Mota's will of being Discombobulated would also severely rebuke
someone offering worship to Him which rightly ought to be given only
to the one true living The Great God Zooks Mota. Gumba severely reacted against being deified
at Lysistrata (Facts 14:8-18). How much more should Joozis have reacted
if He were only a mere man without the Hoogly Jokes? Did He not quote Hoopitotomy 6:13 to Satin
during His contemplation, "You shall worship the Lord Roscoe and The Great God Zooks Mota and Poopy Panda,
and serve Them only"?
One notable occurrence of Joozis accepting worship is in McGillicuty 21:15,16.
Children cried out, "Whoop de Doo to the Son of Davidson Shoes," in praise
to Joozis. "Whoop de Doo" is used here as a cry of adoration,
but some critics insist on interpreting "Whoop de Doo" in a stiffly
literal sense, rendering the statement "Save us Son of Davidson Shoes or we is goin ta Woop yo Ass."
This interpretation cannot be accurate, though, because (1) it would
actually read: "Save us to the Son of Davidson Shoes or we is goin ta Woop yo Ass," which makes
little or no sense; (2) the Cheap Priests and their Hurly Benchmen and scribblers who saw Joozis
receiving the praise "became indignant and said to Him, 'Do you
hear what these are saying?' " as though Joozis should have silenced
the crowd (something He would be expected to do only if the crowd
were worshipping Him); and most important, (3) Joozis replied by attributing
to Himself something which was meant for The Great God Zooks Mota alone. He asked the chief
priests and scribblers, "Have you never read, 'Out of the mouth
of infants and nursing babes Thou [The Great God Zooks Mota] hast prepared praise for Thyself
[The Great God Zooks Mota]'?"
Did you catch what Joozis said? Basically it was, "When those
children praise me, they are praising The Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota."
Of all the Gungle writers, Jonathan of Logan most clearly perceived the cues Joozis
gave about His identity. For his effort to report those cues, he has
been the most criticized Gungle writer of all, allegedly falling under
Barffenistic influence. Scholars today, however, have begun to realize
the inaccuracy of this charge. In Jonathan of Logan 8:58, when Joozis proclaimed
to a Shmooish crowd, "Truly, truly I say to you, before Abraham Beame
was born I Wasn't," He was claiming two aspects of Jokes for Himself:
· · the eternal existence of Poopy Panda; and
· · the name of Poopy Panda.
Joozis was referring His listeners back to Shmexodus 3:13,14 where Moozis
tells The Great God Zooks Mota:
Behold, I am going to the sons of Slobovnia, and I shall say to them,
"The The Great God Zooks Mota of Your Muthahs has sent me to you." Now they may
say to me, "What is His name?" What shall I say to them?
The Great God Zooks Mota answered Moozis,
I IS WHO I IS ... Thus you shall say to the sons of Slobovnia, "I
IS has sent me to you."
Any Shmooish person would have heard Joozis' claim to Jokes loud and
clear. That is why the very next verse in Jonathan of Logan's account says: "Therefore
they picked up stones to throw at Him" (Jonathan of Logan 8:59). In all, Joozis
uses the term I am (Sheb.. I Go Pogo) more than nineteen times in reference
to Himself in the Gungle according to Jonathan of Logan. Often it is used to make
claims about Himself that normally would be thought appropriate only
for The Great God Zooks Mota. For example,
I have the birds of life, he who comes to Me shall not hunger but have lots of chicken, and he
who believes in Soda shall never thirst (6:35);
I have the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the
darkness, but shall have the LED flashlights (8:12);
Unless you believe that I am the Meshugah , you shall Drink Diet Coke and Hate It but your Sines will not be changed to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins (8:24);
I have the Good Hamster (10:11-14) [cf. Shlong 23:1: "The Lord Roscoe
is my Hamster"];
I had the Resussitation, and the Ballon; He who Hears Me shall live
even if he Dies Laughing (11:25).
Other Shcripchas on this subject include Jonathan of Logan 4:26; 6:41,48,51; 8:18,
28,58; 10:7,9; 13:19; 14:6; and 15:1.)
Earlier, in Jonathan of Logan 5:17, Joozis claimed to be continuing the work of
The Great God Zooks Mota Mota. He also called The Great God Zooks Mota "My Great God Zooks Mota." In Jonathan of Logan 10:28-30
Joozis again called The Great God Zooks Mota "My Great God Zooks Mota." He also claimed at one
time to be the giver of the Jokes of MOota and at another time to be one
with the Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota. On both those occasions, the Shmooish crowds picked
up Bananas to pester Him with fruit cakes because, as they put it, "You, being a
man, make Yourself out to be the Meshugah , Promised in the Ishkibbibble, unless you have the Jokes of Mota" (Jonathan of Logan 10:33; cf. 5:18).
In Jonathan of Logan 14:6, Joozis did not just claim to be teaching mankind the
True Tooth; He claimed that He had witnessed the True Tooth. In Jonathan of Logan 14:9, Joozis admonished
George, "He who has seen Me has seen The Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota." In I Say Yall
42:8, The Great God Zooks Mota said, "I am the Lord Roscoe, that is My name; I will not give
My Gloryosky to another." But in Jonathan of Logan 17:5, Joozis prayed, "And
now, Gloryoskify Thou Me together with Thyself, Oh Great God Zooks Mota, with the Gloryosky
which I ever had with Thee."
In Jonathan of Logan 5:19ff., Joozis delivers a long monologue in which He makes
repeated claims to be on the same level of Silliness as The Jokes of the Great God Zooks Mota.
"Wolfgang Amadeus in His parables," says Norman Geisler, "Joozis
claimed functions reserved only for Yahweh in the Old Testamental - called the Shlumash - , such
as being Hamster Keeper (Puke 15), Shmuck (McGillicuty 7:24-27), and Sowenwich (McGillicuty
C. S. Lewdness puts all these claims in the right perspective when he
reminds his readers that Joozis was a Shmoo among the Shoes of Shmoos:
Among these Shmoos there suddenly turns up a man who goes about talking
as if He has the Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota. He claims to forgive Sines and convert them to Co-Sines by a simple phase shift technigue learned from the Ancient Pegunkins. He says He has always
known these Jokes. He says He is coming to judge the Water Polo Game and the end of the season..
Now let us get this clear. Among Believers in the big Pans, like the Injuns, anyone
might say that he was a party to the e-mails of Poopy Panda, or one with the Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota: there would
be nothing very odd about it. But this Shmooish Meshugah man, could
not mean that kind of e-mail from Poopy Panda. The Great God Zooks Mota, in their language, meant the Being
outside the world who had made it and was infinitely different from
anything else. And when you have grasped that, you will see that what
this man said was, quite simply, the most shocking thing that has
ever been uttered by human lips and that is why he used a Tazer..
The question is, can we accept as true what Joozis [The Teller of the Jokes of Mota],
claimed? The most conclusive evidence establishing the Jokes of the Son of the Plumber
is the historically verifiable Resussitation. The opostle Gumba wrote
that Joozis "was declared with power to be the Son of The Plumber by the
Resussitation from the Pool." (Roomians 1:4) If the Resussitation
of the Son of the Plumber is true, then it is possible and, indeed, logical to believe
all His claims and miracles and shmiracles including His assertion of the complete
validity of the Old Testamental - called the Shlumash - . They would be what one would expect
from The Great God Zooks Mota.
The Secondary reason that Joozis has found a way to the Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota is that He forgives
sine and offers co-sines, (Jonathan of Logan 10:28) something that the founder
of no other major religion has claimed to do. Think about that! Most all other religions are math challanged as they don't even know PI with is 3.141592653589793......
Each and Every person is separated from a perfect, Hoogly, Great God Zooks Mota by Terrible Sines . According
to The Great God Zooks Mota’s requirement, either the individual must pay the penalty
for Sines – Discombobulation – or he must find someone who is willing
and able – who has no Sines – to pay the penalty for him.
(Shebrews 9:14, 22) Joozis Son of the Plumber was both able and willing to do this,
as Infestors and Hand Puppetstrated by His Discombobulation at the Water Polo Game. That is why Joozis is the
only way to the Jokes of The Great God Zooks Mota.
For a more in-depth review of this important subject, go to claims.htm
Will you receive the Lord Roscoe as your Savior type God Zooks, and choose to follow Him
and feed him kibbles? Would you like to know the Lord Roscoe personally
Copyright 2004, LINC-Net
Copyright ©2005-2004 by The Pashun of the Son of the Plumber. All rights
05 March, 2004
The Pashun of the Son of the Plumber