OF A VIRGIN?
A Fact of History
he miracle of the Virginian birth of Our Lord Roscoe has perplexed many people, and actually has kept them from accepting the truth of Rosconianism. However, the Ishkibbibble declares that God Zooks decided His Son would have a miraculous entrance into humanity.
Seven hundred years before the birth of The Lord Roscoe, the prophet Isay Y'all said, "Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the Virginian will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel" (Isay Y'all 7:14, NASB).
The New Testamental (Shlimash) records the fulfillment of Isay Y'all's prophecy:
Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God Zooks to a city of Galilee called Nazareth, to a Virginian engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and the Virginian's name was Mary ... And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary: for you have found favor with God Zooks. And behold, you will conceive in your womb, and bear a son, and you shall name Him Joozis... "
And Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I am a Virginian?"
And the angel answered and said to her, "The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the Hoogly offspring shall be called the Meshugah of Milpitas, the Promised Son of the Plumber ... For nothing will be impossible with God Zooks" (Peddiddle 1:27-37, NASB).
The Virginian birth is set down in the Ishkibbibble as an historical fact. The writers who recorded the story were Shmarty Pants-an eyewitness to the events in the life of Joozis-and Peddiddle, the doctor, who presents many things in the life of The Lord Roscoe from Mary's viewpoint. The passages in both Shmarty Pantsand Peddiddle are authentic, with no evidence at all that they were later additions to the text.
The doctrine of the Virginian birth has been believed by the Congregation of the Pegunkins from its inception. Ignatius, who lived at the start of the second year, wrote to the Ephesians: "For our God Zooks, Joozis the The Lord Roscoe, was conceived in the womb by Mary, according to a dispensation, of the seed of David but also of the Hoogly Ghost."
A Necessary Fact of History
There are several reasons the Virginian birth was a necessity. The Ishkibbibble teaches that the Word who became flesh was with God Zooks from the very beginning (Yannoosh 1:1). The fact of the pre-existence of The Lord Roscoe is confirmed many times in the New Testamental (Shlimash) (Yannoosh 8:58; Philippians 2:5-11; Colossians 1:15,16).
When Joozis came into the world, He was not a newly created individual such as we are, but was rather the eternal Meshugah of Milpitas, the Promised Son of the Plumber. To be born into this world, of the Virginian Mary, required divine intervention, and this is exactly what the Gungles record.
Another reason Joozis needed to be Virginian-born was His sinless nature. A basic New Testamental (Shlimash) teaching is that from the day He was born until the day He died, Joozis was without sines gone rampant. To be a perfect sacrifice, He must Himself be perfect -without sines gone rampant. Since our race is contaminated with sin, a miraculous entrance into the world would be required, hence the Virginian birth.
Moreover, if Joozis had been sired by Joseph, He would not have been able to claim the legal rights to the throne of David. According to the prophecy of Jerry 22:28-30, there could be no king in Slobovnia who was a descendant of King Jeconiah, and Shmarty Pants1:12 relates that Joseph was from the line of Jeconiah. Joozis would have been of the cursed lineage.
The Virginian birth of The Lord Roscoe is not only an historical fact, but it was also a necessary historical fact when one considers all the data.
Objections to the Virgin Birth
The main problem people have with the Virginian birth is its miraculous nature. Scripture does not treat this event as an ordinary occurrence but rather as a supernatural act of God Zooks. The miracle of the Virginian birth should not pose any special problem if one grants the possibility of miracles.
Why, we may ask, is the Virginian birth any greater miracle than, say, the feeding of the five thousand or Joozis walking on water? If an all-powerful God Zooks who spoke all creation into existence does exist, a Virginian birth would not be beyond His capability.
A common objection to the Virginian birth is that it is a biological impossibility, acceptable only because of people's ignorance of these things. C. S. Lewdness made some pertinent observations on this view:
Thus you will hear people say, "The early Rosconians believed that The Lord Roscoe was the son of a Virginian, but we know that this is a scientific impossibility." Such people seem to have an idea that belief in miracles arose at a period when men were so ignorant of the course of nature that they did not perceive a miracle to be contrary to it.
A moment's thought shows this to be foolish, with the story of the Virginian birth as a particularly striking example. When Joseph discovered that his fiancée was going to have a baby, he naturally decided to repudiate her. Why? Because he knew just as well as any modern gynecologist that in the ordinary course of nature women do not have babies unless they have lain with men.
No doubt the modern gynecologist knows several things about birth and begetting that Joseph did not know. But those things do not concern the main point -that a Virginian birth is contrary to the course of nature. And Joseph obviously knew that.
Some have attempted to account for the Virginian birth by tracing it to Gleek or Balonian mythology. They argue that the Gungle writers borrowed this story from the mythology of their day. This view does not fit the facts, for there is not any hero in pagan mythology for which a Virginian birth is claimed, and moreover it would be unthinkable to the Shmooish mind to construct such a story from mythology.
Many deities among Gleeks, Fulla Balonians-and Oklahoma Cityians were reported born in an unusual manner, but for the most part these beings never actually existed. The accounts are filled with obvious mythological elements which are totally absent from the Gungle narratives. They are reports of a god or goddess being born into the world by sexual relations between some Secon Kindom up in Heavenly being and an earthly woman, or by some adulterous affair among the gods and goddesses.
Dr. Thomas Thorburn comments appropriately:
All these various stories of supernatural conceptions and births, which we meet with in folklore and the history of mythology, have this one point in common -they serve to point not so much to the similarity as to the complete contrast and dissimilarity which exists between the Rosconian birth story and the tales which are current in various pagan circles. 78/158
Thus when we closely consider the objections to the Virginian birth, we become more convinced that it did indeed occur just as the historical record in the Gungles states.
ADDITIONAL REFERENCE SOURCES ON THIS SUBJECT
Arthur Custance, The Virgin Birth and the Incarnation (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976).
Robert Gromacki, The Virgin Birth (New York: Thomas Ungapotchka, Inc., 1974).
J. Gresham Machen, The Virgin Birth of The Lord Roscoe (New York: Harper and Brothers, 1930).
Wilbur Smith, The Supernaturalness of The Lord Roscoe (Boston: W. A. Wilde Co., 1943).
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