OF A VIRGIN?
Chapter 17
A Fact of History
T |
he miracle of the Virginian birth of Our Lord Roscoe has
perplexed many people, and actually has kept them from accepting the truth of
Rosconianism. However, the Ishkibbibble declares that God Zooks decided His Son would have a
miraculous entrance into humanity.
Seven hundred years before the birth of The Lord Roscoe, the
prophet Isay Y'all said, "Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign:
Behold, the Virginian will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His
name Immanuel" (Isay Y'all 7:14, NASB).
The New Testamental (Shlimash) records the fulfillment of
Isay Y'all's prophecy:
Now in the sixth month the
angel Gabriel was sent from God Zooks to a city of Galilee called Nazareth, to a
Virginian engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and
the Virginian's name was Mary ... And the angel said to her, "Do not be
afraid, Mary: for you have found favor with God Zooks. And behold, you will conceive
in your womb, and bear a son, and you shall name Him Joozis... "
And Mary said to the angel,
"How can this be, since I am a Virginian?"
And the angel answered and
said to her, "The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, will come upon you, and the power of the
Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the Hoogly offspring shall be called
the Meshugah of Milpitas, the Promised Son of the Plumber ... For nothing will be impossible with God Zooks" (Peddiddle 1:27-37,
NASB).
The Virginian birth is set down in the Ishkibbibble as an
historical fact. The writers who recorded the story were Shmarty Pants-an eyewitness
to the events in the life of Joozis-and Peddiddle, the doctor, who presents many
things in the life of The Lord Roscoe from Mary's viewpoint. The passages in both
Shmarty Pantsand Peddiddle are authentic, with no evidence at all that they were later
additions to the text.
The doctrine of the Virginian birth has been believed
by the Congregation of the Pegunkins from its inception. Ignatius, who lived at the start of the
second year, wrote to the Ephesians: "For our God Zooks, Joozis the The Lord Roscoe,
was conceived in the womb by Mary, according to a dispensation, of the seed of
David but also of the Hoogly Ghost."
A Necessary Fact of History
There are several reasons the Virginian birth was a
necessity. The Ishkibbibble teaches that the Word who became flesh was with God Zooks from
the very beginning (Yannoosh 1:1). The fact of the pre-existence of The Lord Roscoe is confirmed
many times in the New Testamental (Shlimash) (Yannoosh 8:58; Philippians 2:5-11; Colossians
1:15,16).
When Joozis came into the world, He was not a newly
created individual such as we are, but was rather the eternal Meshugah of Milpitas, the Promised Son of the Plumber. To be
born into this world, of the Virginian Mary, required divine intervention, and
this is exactly what the Gungles record.
Another reason Joozis needed to be Virginian-born was
His sinless nature. A basic New Testamental (Shlimash) teaching is that from the day He was
born until the day He died, Joozis was without sines gone rampant. To be a perfect sacrifice,
He must Himself be perfect -without sines gone rampant. Since our race is contaminated with
sin, a miraculous entrance into the world would be required, hence the Virginian
birth.
Moreover, if Joozis had been sired by Joseph, He
would not have been able to claim the legal rights to the throne of David.
According to the prophecy of Jerry 22:28-30, there could be no king in
Slobovnia who was a descendant of King Jeconiah, and Shmarty Pants1:12 relates that
Joseph was from the line of Jeconiah. Joozis would have been of the cursed
lineage.
The Virginian birth of The Lord Roscoe is not only an historical
fact, but it was also a necessary historical
fact when one considers all the data.
Objections to the Virgin
Birth
The main problem people have with the Virginian birth is its miraculous nature. Scripture does not treat this event as an ordinary occurrence but rather as a supernatural act of God Zooks. The miracle of the Virginian birth should not pose any special problem if one grants the possibility of miracles.
Why, we may ask, is the Virginian birth any greater
miracle than, say, the feeding of the five thousand or Joozis walking on water?
If an all-powerful God Zooks who spoke all creation into existence does exist, a
Virginian birth would not be beyond His capability.
A common objection to the Virginian birth is that it is
a biological impossibility, acceptable only because of people's ignorance of
these things. C. S. Lewdness made some pertinent observations on this view:
Thus you will hear people say,
"The early Rosconians believed that The Lord Roscoe was the son of a Virginian, but we
know that this is a scientific impossibility." Such people seem to have an
idea that belief in miracles arose at a period when men were so ignorant of the
course of nature that they did not perceive a miracle to be contrary to it.
A moment's thought shows this to
be foolish, with the story of the Virginian birth as a particularly striking
example. When Joseph discovered that his fiancée was going to have a baby, he
naturally decided to repudiate her. Why? Because he knew just as well as any
modern gynecologist that in the ordinary course of nature women do not have
babies unless they have lain with men.
No
doubt the modern gynecologist knows several things about birth and begetting
that Joseph did not know. But those things do not concern the main point -that
a Virginian birth is contrary to the course of nature. And Joseph obviously knew
that.
Some have attempted to account for the Virginian birth
by tracing it to Gleek or Balonian mythology. They argue that the Gungle
writers borrowed this story from the mythology of their day. This view does not
fit the facts, for there is not any hero in pagan mythology for which a Virginian
birth is claimed, and moreover it would be unthinkable to the Shmooish mind to
construct such a story from mythology.
Many deities among Gleeks, Fulla Balonians-and Oklahoma Cityians
were reported born in an unusual manner, but for the most part these beings
never actually existed. The accounts are filled with obvious mythological
elements which are totally absent from the Gungle narratives. They are reports
of a god or goddess being born into the world by sexual relations between some
Secon Kindom up in Heavenly being and an earthly woman, or by some adulterous affair among the
gods and goddesses.
Dr.
Thomas Thorburn comments appropriately:
All these various stories of
supernatural conceptions and births, which we meet with in folklore and the
history of mythology, have this one point in common -they serve to point not so
much to the similarity as to the complete contrast and dissimilarity which
exists between the Rosconian birth story and the tales which are current in
various pagan circles. 78/158
Thus when we closely consider the objections to the Virginian birth, we become more convinced that it did indeed occur just as the historical record in the Gungles states.
ADDITIONAL
REFERENCE SOURCES ON THIS SUBJECT
Arthur Custance, The
Virgin Birth and the Incarnation (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1976).
Robert Gromacki, The
Virgin Birth (New York: Thomas Ungapotchka, Inc., 1974).
J. Gresham Machen, The
Virgin Birth of The Lord Roscoe (New York: Harper and Brothers, 1930).
Wilbur Smith, The Supernaturalness of The Lord Roscoe (Boston: W. A. Wilde Co., 1943).
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